A Retrospect in Music

I found myself in that inner looking, retrospective sort of mood once again tonight. The difference tonight being I wondered how many other husbands, family members and loved ones that have found themselves "here".
It's most certainly been a long strange trip..............

Changes are forever coming but we find our way through.............

The bygones of yesterday, what once meant so much seems not so important anymore. Truly blessed by what we have.................unhindered by the useless things we don't have...

Together we have overcome so very much as we will everything yet to come our way, together we can't fail.

Friends, Friends, Friends, Friends, need I say more? You really do find out who your friends are....and who your family is,...regardless of blood shared.

I can only imagine and pray for others who have been less fortunate, for all we have seen and done in the past year, I have personally watched with tearful eye people beginning the same journey  with little or no support from friends and family.

We have tied our best to a help and comfort others as often as given the chance, help another is never a burden.

A heart of glass kept in safe hands, isn't such a bad thing.

I do think I have learned a lot from the music I enjoy so much and have come to understand much of it in a brand new way. 

The end of the day approaches, the changes, the events, the unknown, .....and where will we go tomorrow? I don't know where that is but I do know it will be together.

Through all time and space we will remain together.

I smiling next to you..........

God vs Religion : Finding Joy

     We look at God in many ways, every one of us that believes in a higher power or intelligence has our own certain nuances and details of what our particular beliefs are. We have our own vision of just exactly who and or what God is and how our higher power expects them to live their respective lives. Various religions place certain sets of rules and guidelines in place for some individuals, most of which have been set forth in a testament of faith written thousands of years ago. 
Since my wife's breast cancer journey began I have encountered some of the most extreme of both sides of the God/Religion gap. In the very beginning of this whole process, my wife worked part time for a couple of different people, one of which she was very happy with and very proud to be part of. The day after she was diagnosed with cancer this particular individual told her the next day that she was releasing from her employment because, in her own words, " I don't want you dying in my shop". I really do understand the fears she had, but I don't understand how a person, such as her could just put that kind of fear and extra pressure on a woman in the position of my wife. This same person is one of my family members that is forever pushing and quoting Christianity and bible passages. I hold no animosity towards her, I more feel a sincere sadness for her. My wife had grown very fond of her job and the people she worked with on a daily basis, she had told me countless times how she felt she had finally found "where she belonged". Now for the past year she has felt like she was just pushed aside when she needed normalcy most of all. I have since watched her struggle,cry, and doubt her own usefulness, all due to a single fearful decision made by one very small minded, self appointed, Christian leader. I do wonder, why? With a chance to be one of my wife's biggest supporters by just doing her everyday routine why she chose to  basically destroy her mentally and emotionally, not to even mention the financial burdens brought on by her loss of income at this very important time in her life.

     I do have to wonder if it ever crossed her mind the damage she caused my wife, just like my wife did, I had thought that the two of them had become very close. I have since come to know that maybe this wasn't the case at all. I did think however that of all the people we knew when this started that she would be at very least, one of the people that would stand by her. I have to admit it was a disappointing time for my wife and myself as well. Not only were we to face the breast cancer challenge, but, also beginning to see a lot of the people that pretend to be your friends are truly no more than a total strangers that have learned enough about you to use you up and toss you aside.

     On a brighter note we have discovered that many, many of the "total strangers" you meet in times like this tend to treat you more as family and friends, than your family and friends do. I have also found time to pray in my own way for those that walked away from her when she needed them most. I don't label myself as any religion but I do profess my belief in God or a higher power if you so chose to call it that. The very same person that crippled my wife emotionally is the same person that has told me many times how I need to follow the path of Jesus Christ, as she does, but if being that type of person is what it takes to be a Christian, I think I will continue to NOT drink from that particular bottle. My God doesn't allow me to turn away from people in need no matter my fears or abilities. I do pray each day that she will let her return to her former position but I doubt she ever will. this may have put us under even more stress and strain than we already had but still even with all that has happened and is still happening no one or nothing has kept us from finding the true joy in life. That true joy being our little family and our day to day struggles that we can find both pride and joy in once we have seen them through.   

Regardless of how any of this ends I wish her well and continued success with her business, since that is all she has. 

Breast Cancer Symptoms, Signs, Stages

"Your mammogram is suspicious for breast cancer." "Your biopsy was positive for breast cancer." These are among the most terrifying words a woman can hear from her doctor. Breast cancer elicits so many fears, including those relating to death, surgery, loss of body image, and loss of sexuality. Managing these fears can be facilitated by information and knowledge so that each woman can make the best decisions concerning her care.

Read more here:
Breast Cancer Symptoms, Signs, Stages, Prevention, Detection, Facts, Treatment - MedicineNet

Boa Wrap and Purse

If you like fox then you'll love this free crochet pattern from Bernat Yarns. Crochet yourself a boa wrap and purse that looks like a fox tail. You can now wear an animal without the guilt.
Read more at http://www.favecrafts.com/Crochet-Sweaters/Boa-Wrap-and-Purse-from-Bernat/ml/1

The Reason, why I would have to “FIX it”

During this most hectic time there have been some changes made that have brought to light a whole new set of problems above and beyond our on going health battles. I have sought the advice of those around me and many other not so close. Since the decline of my own health and that of my wife, we have both struggled with anyway we can to keep supporting ourselves and our son. We have been lucky in that our family home is available at no cost to us, due to arrangement we have with other members of the family. 
Part of our ability to do anything beyond survive was based upon the charity of another close family member. This particular family member was at one point in the same position as myself minus the child. Upon entering this arrangement we were told that we would keep things “as is” forever if required, that so far has not been the case and at this particular time it has virtually destroyed our entire family unit. One of the most frightening aspects of this sudden decision to tear us apart as a family, is the knowledge that eventually the shine will fade and we will have to try to put it back into shape again.

I had talked earlier today with a very close friend and told her my fears and she said that if it come to that I shouldn’t try to help fix it, but I have to. I have enough of my fathers family instinct to try and keep us all together no matter what the personal cost. I will be the first to say that I am not a Christian by any means, ut I do understand most all my friends and family are, especially the one I talked to earlier. So knowing this I tried to find a way to explain to her why I would have to “FIX it” when the time comes, these are from The English Standard Version Bible. The first is kind of a representation of where I am at this point. The second is the suggested cross reference from the same source.

Timothy 5:8 -----But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Titus 1:16 ------They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

I have to try and be better than the that, even if it hurts sometimes. Maybe I can do something to bring us all closer together. If not at least I can face God when the time comes.

How to Recognize Breast Cancer Symptoms

I came across this video and thought it was a good one to share. It's straight forward and easy to understand.