God vs Religion : Finding Joy

     We look at God in many ways, every one of us that believes in a higher power or intelligence has our own certain nuances and details of what our particular beliefs are. We have our own vision of just exactly who and or what God is and how our higher power expects them to live their respective lives. Various religions place certain sets of rules and guidelines in place for some individuals, most of which have been set forth in a testament of faith written thousands of years ago. 
Since my wife's breast cancer journey began I have encountered some of the most extreme of both sides of the God/Religion gap. In the very beginning of this whole process, my wife worked part time for a couple of different people, one of which she was very happy with and very proud to be part of. The day after she was diagnosed with cancer this particular individual told her the next day that she was releasing from her employment because, in her own words, " I don't want you dying in my shop". I really do understand the fears she had, but I don't understand how a person, such as her could just put that kind of fear and extra pressure on a woman in the position of my wife. This same person is one of my family members that is forever pushing and quoting Christianity and bible passages. I hold no animosity towards her, I more feel a sincere sadness for her. My wife had grown very fond of her job and the people she worked with on a daily basis, she had told me countless times how she felt she had finally found "where she belonged". Now for the past year she has felt like she was just pushed aside when she needed normalcy most of all. I have since watched her struggle,cry, and doubt her own usefulness, all due to a single fearful decision made by one very small minded, self appointed, Christian leader. I do wonder, why? With a chance to be one of my wife's biggest supporters by just doing her everyday routine why she chose to  basically destroy her mentally and emotionally, not to even mention the financial burdens brought on by her loss of income at this very important time in her life.

     I do have to wonder if it ever crossed her mind the damage she caused my wife, just like my wife did, I had thought that the two of them had become very close. I have since come to know that maybe this wasn't the case at all. I did think however that of all the people we knew when this started that she would be at very least, one of the people that would stand by her. I have to admit it was a disappointing time for my wife and myself as well. Not only were we to face the breast cancer challenge, but, also beginning to see a lot of the people that pretend to be your friends are truly no more than a total strangers that have learned enough about you to use you up and toss you aside.

     On a brighter note we have discovered that many, many of the "total strangers" you meet in times like this tend to treat you more as family and friends, than your family and friends do. I have also found time to pray in my own way for those that walked away from her when she needed them most. I don't label myself as any religion but I do profess my belief in God or a higher power if you so chose to call it that. The very same person that crippled my wife emotionally is the same person that has told me many times how I need to follow the path of Jesus Christ, as she does, but if being that type of person is what it takes to be a Christian, I think I will continue to NOT drink from that particular bottle. My God doesn't allow me to turn away from people in need no matter my fears or abilities. I do pray each day that she will let her return to her former position but I doubt she ever will. this may have put us under even more stress and strain than we already had but still even with all that has happened and is still happening no one or nothing has kept us from finding the true joy in life. That true joy being our little family and our day to day struggles that we can find both pride and joy in once we have seen them through.   

Regardless of how any of this ends I wish her well and continued success with her business, since that is all she has. 

Finishing? Chemo ; Independence Day

This is the week my wife finishes her chemotherapy. It's seems to me a very ironic and strangely pleasing that the end of this step in my wife's treatment is falling in the general time of Independence Day. I do feel a certain sense of new independence, and relief. I know the road ahead is still going to be eventful and unknown, but I am very thankful that this particular ordeal is over. I must say this experience has both changed and reinforced some of my views of healthcare facilities in general. It is a well know fact that, King Hostile doesn't "DO" doctors. To my much appreciated surprise I found several of the professionals the did and did not fit in my normal Medical Clowns categories. I found the particular group from the infusion center to be caring and compassionate. I know everyone that goes through this must be as worried and confused as my wife and myself. I found it very odd that even a lot of the actual doctors showed little or no care in the questions that were foremost important to us. I got more information about the real effects and whats to be expected from the crew at the infusion center, than from any other source we had available.
     I am so thankful that this process has been a lot easier for her than I had imagine. I guess it's always best to pray for the best and expect the worst and reality falls somewhere in between. Still at this point she has yet to lose control of her nausea to point of vomiting. She was very set on being one of the few, if not the only person, to go through this process without vomiting. i still don't really understand why this was so important to her but I am glad she achieved this goal if she wanted to. The last treatment falls where she will miss one of the Nuepogen shots that she is given after each treatment. Today being Independence day the breast center is closed so she will begin the regime again tomorrow. I will relate how this affects her treatment in a later post.
     That's all for now I think I will take the rest of the day to relax with my wife, and play some 8 Ball on Google game with her.

Silent Survivors

There are a group of cancer survivors out there that go for the most part unrecognized. These survivors are the families and friends of the cancer patient. It is this unrecognized group I hope to offer some support and guidance to.

First I must say I am in no way a licensed professional in any field, let alone a healthcare professional. I am just an ordinary average guy, with a recently diagnosed wife. I never really understood the impact of this monster we call Cancer. It always seemed almost an unreal and impossible occurrence. I have since found that this monster touches many, many lives every day. There are of course the obvious hurdles that one would expect to have to overcome but I have also begum to see many new and unconsidered problems that come to light in each new stage of this journey.


I do hope to help even just one needy soul through this blog, I will say that I am not one to preach and pour religion onto problems. I do however in fact do believe highly in prayer, I do not wish to even begin to tell you which God you should pray to, or how you should do it. I understand we all have ourown personal beliefs, one of mine is to never question or change someones choice of God or belief. I will say try and stay close to whatever it is that you do believe.

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